just a little thought .

Hello Internet.

Well, holidays are coming to an end real soon and freshmen orientation is next week.
Thinking about it, it will be real close for me to get the doubts i have for such a long while answered real soon.
& I do hope that will happen.
Regardless whether it is in my favor or not, i just want answers, a beginning, or even a closure.
I'll admit that I'm so afraid that I'm holding on to nothing at the end of the day.
When i see that you're actually online on whatsapp when you're in china, it makes me really have so many different thoughts.
"Why aren't you messaging me?" "Why are you even online?"
& it just seems that you're messaging or chatting with someone else and I'm sending long messages every morning and hoping you're alright.
With all the uncertainties and doubts, i asked myself, where did that trust i used to have on you went to?
& I'll just take a deep sigh gently and make myself stop thinking about it.
Perhaps, that was the reason why i have so much time and then deciding to invest it in the gym, swimming pool, or running around the neighborhood.
People say, don't focus on what you've lost, instead focus of what you've gained after that lost.
But truth is, almost everything is much harder in the reality, and it takes a whole lot of courage and a little of everything to always make the right decision.
At the end of the day, it's not what i say i will do that defines who i am, but what i do that defines me.

“Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over.” - Nicole Sobon

MingKang.